Independent Advocate for the Rights and Dignity of our Digital Selves

Identity Woman

Indpendent Advocate for the Rights and Dignity of our Digital Selves

Mononym officially "not" accepted. I'm Kaliya. Google get a clue.

By 5 Comments

OK.

Let me be very frank.

Kaliya says to Google:
“Why should I have to justify my name to you?”

My name is Kaliya

Just me. That is what it was on my profile before you decided that i had to have letters in my last name.

Type me into Google nymrods, 5 of the posts on the fronte page are me…the other 5 are for a figure in Hindu mythology.

What is the top post for “me”? Its the “Identity Woman” blog, then my Fast Company blog post on  NSTIC written as Identity Woman, then my flickr photos (Kaliya), linkedIn (Kaliya), Slideshar’s (Kaliya) and finally my unconference site (Kaliya).

I chose to have Identity Woman as my last name when you rejected my choice to go with the mononym “Kaliya *”. That is how people know me. It is how I want to be known.

I am NOT putting my soon to be ex-husband’s, have been separated amicably  for 3 years, last name as “my name” as the top of my profile on Googoe+.

[TO BE CLEAR. My ex and I are on good terms and I really didn’t want to bring this up in public-public on my blog because it is not my practice to discuss personal matters on this blog and cause it is nobody’s business what my marital status is.  I made the choice to share this very real personal life situation I face to make the point I am trying to make. On another note he is also very supportive of my work on these issues for freedom on the internet.]

I am totally fine listing this last name in the “other” field along with my maiden name.  I am not particularly attached to either name. I have a an idea for a future last name and I might change it in several years in the mean time I don’t want to promote this “other” name that isn’t “mine” as the headline of my profile. Both Young and Hamlin are part of my legal name. They are my wallet names  (as Skud has so aptly put it) and in some way they are my names but they are not “my” names.

When people who don’t know me that well call me “Ms. Hamlin” I object politely and say “please just call me Kaliya – Hamlin is not “my” name”.  Everyone who I have made this request have honored it. If they didn’t I wouldn’t be their friend for very long. As Bob Blakeley from Gartner (formerly Burton Group) explains, names are social and if you don’t call people what they want to be called they won’t respond.

Google, My name is Kaliya.

If you don’t honor this request. I won’t be your friend any more. Just like Bob explained.

 

 

G-Male is a Good Listener, Maybe too good.

By 2 Comments

Ok, now we know what is wrong 🙂 Google is on the [autism] spectrum.

“The obstacles primarily exist in the realm of social interaction. The fundamental problem is akin to blindness, as the term social blindness suggests.”

They keep doing well meaning but awkward feeling things because well they know how to technically but it isn’t how human beings act or want to be treated.
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Learning to stand up for my Identity, began with O'Reilly | She bows in gratitude for the teaching.

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The first time I had my “identity” erased was actually by O’Reilly. Ok, to be fair it was by his people.

I was invited to attend Foo Camp in 2006 and was then invited to speak at both Web 2.0 Expo and Emerging Telephony in 2007.  So, I was asked to fill out my speaker information and list my “company affiliation” as Identity Woman. I didn’t really work for anyone (I really never have) and that was my “identity” after all.  So I think they will get it and its all good.

I am really excited I was asked to speak and really like wow! its an O’Reilly Conference and Wow! and I want to see my name in the program – for the first time ever…in a program of a major conference….I open it up and well…I’m not Identity Woman. My identity was erased because “Identity Woman” didn’t meet their “style guidelines”.

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Is Google+ is being lynched by out-spoken users upset by real names policy?

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Following my post yesterday Google+ says your name is “Toby” not “Kunta Kinte”, I chronicled tweets from this morning’s back and forth with  Tim O’Reilly and Kevin Marks, Nishant  Kaushik, Phil Hunt,  Steve Bogart and Suw Charman-Anderson.

I wrote the original post after watching the Bradley Horwitz (@elatable) – Tim O’Reilly (@timoreilly) interview re: Google+. I found Tim’s choice of words about the tone (strident) and judgement (self-righteous) towards those standing up for their freedom to choose their own names on the new social network being rolled out by Google internet’s predominant search engine disappointing.  His response to my post was to call me self-righteous and reiterate that this was just a market issue.

I myself have been the victim of a Google+ suspension since July 31st and yesterday I applied for a mononym profile (which is what it was before they insisted I fill out my last name which I chose to do so with my online handle and real life identity “Identity Woman”) 

In the thread this morning Tim said that the kind of pressure being aimed at Google is way worse then anything they are doing and that in fact Google was the subject of a “lynch mob” by these same people.  Sigh, I guess Tim hasn’t read much history but I have included some quotes form and links to wikipedia for additional historial context.

Update: inspired in part by this post an amazing post “about tone” as a silencing/ignoring tactics when difficult, uncomfortable challenges are raised in situations of privilege was written by Shiela Marie.  

I think there is a need for greater understanding all around and that perhaps blogging and tweeting isn’t really the best way to address it.  I know that in the identity community when we first formed once we started meeting one another in person and really having deep dialogues in analogue form that deeper understanding emerged.  IIW the place we have been gathering for 6 years and talking about the identity issues of the internet and other digital systems is coming up in mid-October and all are welcome.  The agenda is created live the day of the event and all topics are welcome.

Here’s the thread… (oldest tweets first)

 Note all the images of tweets in this thread are linked to the actual tweet (unless they erased the tweet).  [Read more…]